Valentine’s Day Ten Commandments

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Greetings In the Name of the Lord:

Since this week we are celebrating Valentine’s Day I thought I would share this tongue-in- cheek piece I found this week. Enjoy!

THE VALENTINE’S DAY TEN COMMANDMENTS

  1. I am thy Main Squeeze; thou shalt have no other squeeze before me.
  2. Thou shalt not take the name of thy Squeeze in vain, nor badmouth him/her behind his/her back.
  3. Remember our Anniversary, and keep it holy–or else.
  4. Honor MY mother and father. THINE are just too weird.
  5. Thou shalt not kill my love by behaving tackily or cause undo embarrassment when I am with thee.
  6. Thou shalt not commit adultery, nor shalt thou even THINK about it least you be smitten from the earth.
  7. Thou shalt not steal from my wallet/purse while I am at my bath, nor use my credit cards.
  8. Thou shalt not talk about our personal problems to our friends.
  9. Thou shalt not covet the higher market price of thy neighbor’s house without first puttin’ down the remote and learnin’ how to use a paintbrush!
  10. Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor’s main Squeeze, nor his son, nor his daughter, nor his stereo, nor his BMW, nor anything else that belongs to thy neighbor.

In Christ,

Pastor Mark

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